Question: Dear Luise: I just lost my mom in February of this year. She lost her battle with lung cancer and in her last years she lived with me. And I took care of her full time. I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers and they only helped me sometimes. Well since she’s gone now, I wanted to know if it’s normal for me to seclude myself from them? I just fell better expressing my emotions with my small family circle ( husband and kids). It seems like they understand me more. But I just cant help but feeling like keeping to myself. Thank You. A.
Answer: Dear A.: Your grieving is your experience. Your loss was recent and your closeness to your mother prior to her death was a strong factor. She was there with you. Often one family member takes on the responsibility that you did and I commend you for it. You made a huge difference. I did that for my dad and I have never been sorry.
Process it in whatever way helps you through it. If you have some feelings of anger or disappointment that you did the most and the others did a lot less, let those feelings up and out. They are healthy and normal. Secluding yourself is one thing but being unable to forgive them is another. Look closely to see what’s going on with you. They are how they are and you can’t change that. You are how you are and wouldn’t want to be any other way. Better days are ahead. Blessings, Luise