How Do We Get Through To Her

Question: Dear Luise: my daughter married 14 months ago she as a two year old child to her husband her husband is turkish she also as a 21 year old son and a 15 year old daughter  her husband left her for 3 weeks but as come back now my 15 year old grandaughter is not talking to her mum or her husband she says she does not like him but is being really nasty saying her mum as chosen him over her her mum as brought her and her brother up single handed given them everything i have tried talking to my grandaughter and explained  i do not like my family split like this i am a widow and it just making me ill and my daughter who is suffering from post natal depression it is also upsetting her little brother her older brother says as long as is mums happy he is can anyone help how do i get through to her that her mum as not stop loving her but she is entitled to a life herself she does not need to like her husband but she could a least try to tolarate himm my son who lives with me keep saying her husband will leave my daughter and try to get her house but he does love her i know he does he use to three jobs when they 1st got married just to help with the bills because my daughter as had him back i get abuse from my son and now my grandaughter is making life hell we need to know how to get through to her my daughter even said she will asked her to leave but i do not agree that is the answer please someone help.  C.

Answer: Dear C.: This your daughter’s problem. She is an adult and she is responsible for her actions and decisions. She has to figure it out on her own and do her best to resolve it. Don’t take it on…it isn’t yours.

Many teen age children put up a terrible fuss when a parent remarries. They can be ruthless and want “things how they used to be.” They don’t care that the remarried parent wants a life of her own or even whether she is happy or not. They are often too self-centered to see beyond their own preferences and they don’t want to adapt or be inconvenienced. With that attitude, they can bring the whole household down.

Your son may be right about your new son in law. Time will tell. His leaving so soon, even though he came back… doesn’t look encouraging. Blessings, Luise



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