Question: I have been with my partner on and off for 8 years. Our sexlife was good at the start but over the past 5 years i an count on one hand how many times we have been sexually intimate. This year i have lost 8 stone mainly for my health. I thought this would help so that he would find me attractive but no. All that he has said is that i have become selfish. I dont know what to do I am so lonely and life is passing me by. Im 48 and he is 54. Life is just too short to be lonely. I just dont know how to end it as i dont feel i have the strength to face the arguments. Any advice would be most gratefully accepted please. T.
Answer: Dear T.: It is difficult to stay in a dead relationship and it can also be difficult to leave. What you probably need to face is that doing nothing is very hard on you and takes a lot of energy.
There are no guarantees when you leave that the right guy is going to come along but you still will have a say about how you deal with your loneliness. There are other options, like Web-forums, (I have one,) or volunteer work or hobbies…church work. The list is endless. Finding a compatible roommate,, probably female, could give you a new lease on life. You could hang out together…take trips together…whatever looks like fun, Your health might also improve appreciably if you turned over a new leaf. Your life isn’t what you want it to be and that is always bad news for us, physically.
Arguments don’t need to be part of ending it. Take a stand and do what you have to do to back it up. Doing nothing can be the worst choice of all.
Come on over to www.WiseWomenUnite.com if you would like some support.
Life isn’t passing you by…you have just gotten stalled and need to create some redirection. It can be as interesting as you are willing to have it be. You deserve a lot better than what you have settled for. Blessings, Luise