Question: Dear Luise: I am 41 and have been in the same realtionship for 12 years. We have a good relationship on lots of levels, but we don’t talk at all about our relationship or future. I feel a bit trapped as I can only picture a future without my partner – mainly because I don;t know what he wants for the future. We have never talked about children. I have gradully physically withdrawn from the realtionship to the point where we havn’t had sex for the last 3 years. He can’t be happy with this situation, but has never tried to talk about it. It’s like we are housemates, not lovers. How do I start some dialogue? Even if it leads to the end of the realtionship – that might be better than living with an elephant. J.
Answer: Dear J.: You have chosen to be in a relationship with someone who does not want to talk about it…or the future…or sex. It seems to me that you deserve better than that. Start a dialogue with him by telling him you are leaving and why. If he doesn’t want to talk about it…move on. Blessings, Luise