How Do I Protect Myself

Question: Dear Luise: I am married to a lady who is paranoid schizophrenic and it seems that although her family members were aware of her being mentally ill they got her married. This was an arranged marriage and we could not find out about her disease unless we took her to psychiatrist. Now we are planning to apply for divorce. What are the precautions that I need to take. I have all the proofs. K.

Answer: Dear K.: I know little to nothing about arranged marriage. Most of us stand up and say something to the effect that we will stay “in sickness and in health until death”…but few of us really mean that. When we marry those who misrepresent themselves or were misrepresented by others, we move on because many of us don’t choose a lifetime of martyrdom. (Or we misrepresent ourselves ad can’t keep up the facade.) I say “we and us” because my own belief system supports that concept. It may not be a popular one to align with publically but the courts indicate it is the cultural norm in many countries.

Be very careful in your selection of a lawyer because you want the documentation you have to be thoroughly understood and taken into account. I wouldn’t rely on just one psychiatrist’s evaluation but would get back up. Her family may get medical data to refute your claim.

That said, I find it a very sad situation and my heart goes out to the woman who is going through all of this when her life is already very difficult. In comparison, you are going to look like the bad guy…be prepared. You both deserve better than this basically heartless impasse. Blessings, Luise

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