Question: Dear Luise: I have a probably odd question. I moved in with my now husband when I turned 18. I moved in with them because of issues I had with my own mother and family. I grew up with his family, and honestly I’ve seen them as my family more than the words “in-law”. We fight, make up, etc like a normal family. As of late my sister-in-law has been saying that I’m not family, and hates me over a miscommunication. I understand what she means that I’m not blood relative, but it still somehow hurts me. How do I go through this situation? She will not talk to me. Thanks. L.
Answer: Dear L.: What your SIL is into is about her, not you. It doesn’t matter why she’s doing it. It probably makes sense to her and under her rationalization I suspect there’s a feeling of jealousy…whether realistic or not. You can’t change any of that or help her with it.
What you can do is get that your own feelings of hurt are about you and you can do something about those. They probably have more to do with your family of origin and the issues that never got resolved.
Be kind to yourself and love yourself through this by holding your head high and putting a smile on your face. Be kind to her. You matter to me. That’s why I’m sitting here writing to you. Blessings, Luise