Question: Dear Luise; I have been married for 11 yrs and I have 4 children, for sometime now I have been feeling hurt by my husbands behavior towards me. I feel used at his convenience, I feel bored in our relationship, lack of apprecition and most of all no communication. When I am quiet and fine with anything that has to do with him or his family he’s fine, but when I have something to say, he doesn’t want to hear it and he turns ugly towards me. I am now 30, I was raised in the city and had a very outgoing live style now I live out in the country and I never get to do anything, I have no close friends and no one to really trust, he doesn’t let me go out to night clubs which is what I like to do and I really don’t want to take him with me. He never takes me out anywhere to have fun, so we really never do anything besides cook out at the house and have a couple of drinks. I know he doesn’t trust me and I don’t completly trust him. His family has caused alot of hurt in our relationship, si it’s very hard for me to get along with them, we have always fought over that issue and I am tired of it, I can’t do it anymore, I don’t want to. Besides I don’t like how they are. He comes from a very disfunctional family, now that each sebling has their own families I consider ours the most stable one. Alot has built up little by little I feel we both are fustrated in the relationship and with any little disagreement I want to end the relationship, I don’t know what to do. A.
Answer: Dear A.: When this happened to me, I went first to my husband to see if we could address it without being adversaries. We did. We used the same attorney and divorced.
If that doesn’t work and he fights you, then make an appointment with a good attorney and get things started. It sounds like you are in a no-win situation and you both need to move on. You deserve a lot better and so does he. Blessings. Luise