Question: Dear Luise: My son just turned 9. His father and I split 8 years ago. He continues to be physically abusive towards me and causes constant drama. I want my son to feel safe with me; like that stuff doesn’t come into our home. Most of all I want to preserve our relationship. I know his father does not like to pay support and he’s been subtly laying the groundwork about why dad’s house is better. I want my son to want to stay with me. But more importantly, I want to raise a man who can handle this and think for himself and love both of his parents. I have read some of your responses and a lot of what you say is about acceptance and letting others make their own choices. How can I best spend the next couple of precious years to prepare my son for this next battle and for life? And should I concede right away if my son wants to live with his dad? Just tell him my door is always open? Thank you for your time and for opening your heart. S.
Answer: Dear S. You have posed a very wise and difficult question. I would like to invite you to bring it over to my Web-forum – www.WiseWomenUnite.com – where women deal with issues with adult children and extended families. There is a lot of combined experience there that may be helpful to you and I think you might benefit from a discussion venue. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise