Question: Dear Luise: Presently I’m in a depression and my feelings can’t be shared with anybody. I’m a 20 years old girl and a college student. Before 2 years one of my college professors told me how much he wants me in his life and slowly, slowly he made me totally engaged into him self. Since, last 2 years, I feel that, both we are attached to each other as such we are the soul mates, I’m a part of his life and he is my world. He is a married man having two children, 15 years older than me. But, shows that he loves me in every single way, I can feel this in my heart and this is for sure. But, In these two years, for four times he said that, “You are like my little sister”, he says this very rarely, but the feeling I get in my heart every time I see him and interacting with him is so different than that. His face proclaims that he loves me more than that, but he also says that, his children are his weaknesses, he loves them very much… What do I do? I can’t bear this situation anymore… Please help. S
Answer: Dear S.: It would sadden you to know how many times I have heard the exact same story. Each woman thinks her experience is unique and the fact that she sees the guy as her Soul Mate makes it all right. Every woman becomes tired of being tossed the crumbs a selfish, dishonorable and cheating man has left over after he gives his best to his wife and children.
Listen to me: you deserve better! You are a fine young woman who has been led where he wanted to lead you for his own pleasure and his own ego. The hardest part to face is that no one can lead you where you don’t want to go. You let this happen; that’s the bad news. The good new is that you can stop it; now…this minute.
Pick up yourAC dignity and your self-respect and move on before he leaves you for someone fresher, younger and newer. That’s the game, you know. Do not listen to his words…his actions tell you that you don’t matter enough and you never will.
On the other side of depression (which is caused by not wanting to have things be the way they are) is freedom…joy…adventure. You are young and you get to have a full and wonderful life! Forgive yourself…and then celebrate! Blessings, Luise