How Can I Forgive Myself?

Question: Dear Luise: My mother became ill in August and almost died. We were able to get her back to her home, and I quit my job and lived with her and my husband came to town (two hours away) to see us on weekends. My college kids stopped in when they could. My mom never really recovered, developing an infection that she couldn’t get over. I am a nurse and I was giving her several meds, hanging IV’s etc for her and she was bedridden. She died at the end of January, going septic from a UTI. I feel so guilty because I let her down, not catching the UTI. I was so exhausted and I was impatient with her the last week of her life. She died in the hospital three hours after I got her there, too late. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself, and I miss her so much, and feel so very guilty, i don’t know what to do. Any advice? G.

Dear G.:
I have a lot to say to you. I have a message for you from your mom. First of all, please know that I have no abilities in the area of contacting people on the other side. What I am going to tell you comes from living a long life. I’m 83 years old and I just  “know” some things.

Your mother is brimming over with gratitude. Make room to let that sink in. She felt so loved when you quit your job and committed to seeing it through with her. She never expected you to be perfect and she totally understood your exhaustion.

She was ready to go. If the UTI hadn’t gotten her something else would have very soon because she had no reserves and the quality of life she was experiencing made her want to move on.

She holds you in her heart and is so proud of you. Now, she wants you to let the peace that she knows become part of your life…her gift back to you. Blessings, Luise

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