How Do I Get This Guy To Choose Me and Settle Down

Question: Dear Luise: I have had a very off-again/on again relationship with the guy that I want to be with. There is another girl involved and he can’t seem to make up his mind. We have known each other since we were kids, (we are now 20 and 21). His family likes me and I like them. Is there anything I can do to solidify our relationship and get it moving in the right direction? I really don’t want to screw this up. I believe our love could pass the test of time. I’m taking lots of advice from my dad and his mom, and just need some from someone who doesn’t know either of us and hasn’t seen us grow together. Thanks, Laura

Answer: Dear Laura: I condensed your question due to space limitations. The data you gave me was very specific and the gist of it is that you have made up your mind and he hasn’t. Isn’t that true? To be honest, I don’t see you growing together, I see you growing apart.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about that. Both of you have to be mature, both of you have to be ready and both of you have to see the other as “The One”. How you act is about you and how he acts is about him. Look closely. You just aren’t on the same page…not at all.

Your guy is all over the place with you and with the other girl. That’s about him. He’s not serious and I know in your heart of hearts, you know that. Maybe your love can stand the test of time but his can’t and hasn’t.

It’s time to get on with your life without him in it. If he grows up, comes back and shows he has something solid to offer, you may want to try again. But if and when that happens, you may have moved on. You sound like you are ready to settle down…to do that you need a guy who has the same goal. Blessings, Luise

2 Responses to How Do I Get This Guy To Choose Me and Settle Down

  1. Heidi January 13, 2007 at 6:50 pm #

    What do I say when people keep asking when my boyfriend and I will get married and he’s standing there. It’s embarrassing.

  2. Luise January 13, 2007 at 7:20 pm #

    Answer: Dear Heidi: That is so disgusting. I don’t know how you feel about embarrassing someone right back but I think I would want to say something like: “Are you trying to embarrass me or do you just speak without thinking, naturally?” Blessings, Luise

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