Question: Dear Luise:I have been married for 2 yrs together for 7 we have a 4 yr old boy and I currently dont know whats happening I am being disrespected infront of his family and he is being emotionally abusive He was never so vulgar before but he seems to say things that really hurt we are currently not on speaking terms as i feel he needs to fix things He bought me flowers to apologize but thats only fixing things for a dy or two meanwhile i still have these issues I dont think that can fix our problems I really want this marriage to work because I do love him but I am not willing to take the treatment coming form him What can I do? L.
Answer: Dear L.: It would be wise, I think, to take advantage of your husband’s concern and seek counseling. Not talking isn’t going to get you very far.
When you a see a change in behavior like you describe…something is behind it. It may or may not have anything to do with you.
We all marry imperfect people who don’t always live up to our expectations. And, truth be told, we are imperfect, too, and seldom live up to our own expectations. It’s tricky. Sometimes we try to act in a way we think will please our partners. That may work short term…but most of us can’t sustain an idealized image for long.
You sound like you care and your husband is demonstrating that he does, too. That’s the good news. I think you might find the answers you need if you are both willing. Blessings, Luise