Question: Dear Luise: my problem is that my boyfriend and I been together for 6months but we been knowing each other for almost 3 years!! I have a baby that’s 3 is not his. The problem is that we are taking each other seriously but he never wants to come around my family when my daughter is around I know is not his n he likes her a lot. He tells me he is not ready for that I don’t understand when he tells me dad, I’m not telling him to be her dad or nothing but I would like for the three of us to go out n be together like a family! I don’t know if he is scared. My daughter n I sleep over his house but his parents never met my daughter n they know we are together. So please help me what can I do for him to come around us!! Not just me. V.
Answer: Dear V.: There isn’t anything you can do. Your boyfriend has issues about your daughter that he can’t face, even though he loves her. He is trying, socially, to separate you from your daughter because he is either ashamed or embarrassed.
I’m sure she is a lovely and beautiful child and she is going to feel his compartmentalized rejection soon, if she hasn’t already. It may not be a good match for you and your child because of his conflict over her. Both of you deserve much better that than and you come together…it’s a package deal. Blessings, Luise