He’s Just Not Interested

Question: Dear Luise: I’ve been in a relationship for 5 months with a wonderful man and started out as a really close friend 18 years ago.  Back then I tried to kiss him 3 times and he stopped me because of our age difference.  He is 12 years older than me.  At that time he was divorced from his first wife with 3 young boys.  A few years later we both met people and married.  He was the best man in my wedding, not because he was friends with my soon to be husband but because we very so close.  Then both of our marriages (my first & his second) fell apart for different reasons and we got to be very close again.  I now have 2 small children and his kids are grown but the youngest two (20 & 22) still live at home. When we took the next step in our friendship he told me that it would be awhile before he made any big physical moves in our relationship.  It’s been 5 months and we still have not had sex.  He kisses me and tells me that he loves me.  I will kiss him very deeply and passionately but it never goes any further. I’m starting to feel like I don’t turn him on enough for him to want to make any moves.  Do I just need to give him more time? J.


Answer: Dear J.: Nope, he doesn’t need any more time. There is a problem and it isn’t you. Don’t take it on. Friendship is what you’re going to get. His marriages may reflect the same problem. Whether that’s the case of not…don’t go there. He’s not addressing and working to resolve whatever is going on with him. Cut yourself loose, so you can get on with your life. Blessings, Luise

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