Question: Dear Luise: I broke up with my boyfriend because he coundnt accept my grandson because he is half balck and half white. We were engaged for 5 years and i got tired of living two lives one with my daughter and grandson and one with him. Know that ive been gone for teo months he is going to a councelor to see if he can get past the racsist part and be able to accept him in his life. I think that its great that he is trying to do that because i really love him and i know that he really loves me. So what type of advise can you give me? Because he says that when my grandson gets older and has friends that are black and want to come over he doesnt want the black friend in his house then what would i tell my grandson? I need some advise please and thank you. S.
Answer: Dear S.: Some people can get past prejudice but for others it goes too deep and the best place they can get to is a minimal tolerance. For a family member, that’s not good enough. You may not agree with me, but I think that only the ignorant and the insecure put others down to build themselves up. “God doesn’t make any junk” is something I read somewhere, and I agree.
My son, a full Caucasian, is experiencing racism in Hawaii. He’s a minority there and most Hawaiian’s he has met in the last 10 years, hate Haoles. Racism is racism. My Caucasian sort-of daughter married a really great black guy (he’s taking me to lunch today) and when they were invited to his sister’s black-society wedding in New Orleans, no one would speak to her.
If your guy is putting future restrictions on your little grandson when he reaches his teens, it’s hard to see that his heart is into the counseling. You are going to have to choose…and that’s a no-brainer, right? Blessings, Luise