Question: Dear Luise: I’m in a very serious situation. I love a guy who is married and has a 6 year-old child. We’ve been in a relationship for the past 5 years. My family doesn’t know about the affair and they are forcing me to get married. He sometimes forces me to come with him to have a sex and if I won’t, he keeps me from going to my office. He’s always suspicious that I’m having a relationship with some other guy in my office, so I go there and ignore him. I don’t know how to tackle this problem. Whom should I talk with about this? I think he is just using me. He’s caused me a lot of problems in my office, for instance he calls me continuously and then hangs. That’s really embarrassing. I’ve told him not to do that but he just tells me not to work late. My office hours are 9 to 5pm but sometimes if work longer. I’m not in a situation to be able to leave the office sometimes. I don’t know how to handle him because he has blackmailed me. I can’t tell my family about this. My life is a horror and some days I’m not able to control my self. I need help. What can I do? I think I’d like to marry the guy my family selects but that would really take a lot of courage. Please help me. V.
Answer: Dear V.: When this kind of situation exists, it doesn’t just happen. You brought it about and no one but you can resolve it I have no idea how you can say you are “in love” with someone like that. He’s a jealous cheater and a coward…and you have let yourself become his victim.
Get rid of him. Tell your family you are having huge problems that you can’t tell them about but you need their protection. That’s what families are for. Talk to an attorney; talk to the Police. Leave your office job whether it’s convenient or not.
No one can save you but yourself. Take action! Don’t let him ruin the rest of you life just because you have acted foolishly and dangerously for the last 5 years. Gather up your courage and let your family find you a suitable guy. No more neglect, harassment, abuse and blackmail! You deserve better than this. You are smarter than you were 5 years ago! Blessings, Luise