Question: Dear Luise: I am getting married in early 2012 and my future mother in law is causing a lot of problems. She is insisting that her daughter be a bridesmaid. We are not close at all and she has made no effort to even try and get to know me or be my friend. So I feel why should I have someone I barely know in my wedding. My husband to be feels the same way. I just don’t want there to be problems (which she said there will be if she’s not a bridesmaid) I have two sisters and she even told me that I can’t have my sisters as maids in her daughter isn’t. It’s just trouble, trouble, trouble all the time from her over everything (wedding related and not)Most of her family doesn’t speak to her because she causes so much trouble. I don’t know what to do. M.
Answer: Dear M. This is the kind of situation that needs to go to my Web-forum for discussion. Please join us at: www.WiseWomenUnite.com .
A future MIL who is dictating what you can and can’t do is a serious indicator of future problems. You know that already. She is giving you ultimatums, as well. The time for you and you future husband to take a stand is ASAP, to my way of thinking.
It is your wedding (the two of you.) Pick whom you want and stand firm. On my other site, I have heard horror-stories about that kind of MIL that you can’t even imagine. If she gets her hooks into you, it’s all down hill from there. I even know of a MIL whose behavior was so bad that she were barred from the wedding and security was posted in case she crashed it…which she did. You will find support, understanding and brainstorming on my forum, which doesn’t lean toward either MILs or DILS. I hope to see you there. Blessings, Luise