Why Haven’t I Found “The One”

Question: Dear Luise: I just read the question from Beverly that you answered in June regarding people asking her why she’s single. Apparently she likes being alone, just not answering the inquiries. Well, I’m getting up there for a single person, ( late 30s), and I don’t like being alone at all. I have dated and I’ve been asked, but I haven’t found the right person. I have friends who “settled” and were sorry later. I’ve stuck to my standards, but now it’s beginning to look like that wasn’t too smart, either. Got any suggestions? Sincerely, Lois C.

Answer: Dear Lois: There are all kinds of couples out there that have met in all kinds of ways. Some may have been in a hurry to grab a mate and some may have taken their time. In both instances, you will hear about successes and failures.

I heard a story once about the guy who traveled around the world looking for the “perfect woman”. When he returned alone, his friends asked what happened. He said he did find her, but it was a “no-go” because she was looking for the “perfect man”. Food for thought.

All I can tell you is that every time I go to a wedding, I wonder what the odds are, with today’s statistics, and usually I’m surprised. Those I worry about often do just fine, and those that look great, don’t make it. Also, sometimes the couple that stays together shouldn’t have, not really, and the couple that gives up, was a pretty good match in hindsight.

Since you want to marry, I suggest that you see a therapist. You may have some fears or behaviors that slow eligible men down, or something else might be going on that’s getting in the way.

Lastly, I would suggest you look at finding a way to enjoy being single, if that’s possible. You will be less anxious and that makes for more room in developing a relationship. Blessings, Luise

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