Question: Hi Luise: I recently went through a very difficult divorce, and it left me very bitter. I am doing my best to let go and let God…trying to move on and trust. However my self worth is a little low right now. This isn’t what I am writing you about. But felt a little background would help you understand my question. I am very proud person and try my best to be responsible. But the divorce left me with so much debt I don’t know what to do. I need a little financial direction. I am afraid if I file for bankruptcy all pride I still have will be gone. My self worth is already so low. Do you know of any other solution? Thanks for considering my question. Maurice
Answer: Dear Maurice: I can give you some personal advice about this but a good financial counselor is what you are probably going to need to end up with. I have no idea what your assets and liabilities are and for that reason, have little to offer to you regarding financial resolution.
Self worth is another thing. Sometimes it is tied up with success and failure, sometimes with money or the lack thereof and sometimes it seems to have a life of it’s own and is free from such measuring sticks.
One person doesn’t fail at a marriage. Please factor that into your thinking. Two people wanted to try and two people did. After the fact, it is pretty hard to figure out where it started to unravel and what might have helped. The point is that it’s over. You agreed to disagree and you are now alone in what sounds like a very tough place.
It would suggest that you also get some personal counseling aside from professional financial direction. Most of us just go round and round in our thinking when we try to sort through what brings us such great pain. This is new to you and devastating. It is not new to a counselor and they have a lot of experience helping others over the rough patches. Give yourself the very best break that you can.
Being heard can be extremely healing. There is a road back to balance and comfort. You wrote to me out of self-love. Concern for how you are feeling. Contact someone one-on-one and take it to the next level. Blessings, Luise