Question: Dear Luise: I met my boyfriend 5 years ago. Recently i called things off, i returned from overseas to be with him in december of 2009. Since, ive been back hes been really unappreciative considering we split up because of him earlier. Now that im back he says hes grown so tired of things over the years that he does not have a desire to be with me or single either. Its been so confusing because i said id wait for him till he can decide whether he wants to be with me. However, im still hurt, so i made it final lastnight that its over. Did i do the right thing? I love him with all i have to give and i know he loves me this is the first time we have ever gone through such a thing. Im still hurt at the moment and so confused we havent been together for a month now. R.
Answer: Dear R.: I’m not sure there’s a “right thing.” When we make important choices there are lessons that go with it no matter which fork in the road we take.
Your relationship hasn’t been what you want. That’s reason enough to move on. We can love someone deeply that we can’t live with comfortably. It doesn’t do much good trying to figure another person out if their behavior isn’t supportive.
Sometimes we have to adjust our expectations…but we also need to stay true to ourselves. My take is that you deserve a whole lot better. Blessings, Luise