Question: Dear Luise: 3 yrs ago, my son married a girl 10 yrs older who was married before. i had no problem with her. but my son has changed drastically and not for better. we were always close my husband, son and i. he started off by telling me she’s not the type to call once a month. well she never does. once in a while when he calls, she gets on speaker phone. in 3 years, they have invited us 4 x to their house. i have tried inviting them to ours, but always an excuse, except holidays. what do i do. i have tried over and over with her. she comes from a funny family and at their wedding, met her mother and sister for first and last time. her mother is in ireland, her father is dead, and sister in bronx. I.
Answer: Dear I.: Once our kids grow up and make their own choices, all bets are off, as far as I can see. They may pick partners that mesh with their families of origin or they may not.
There is very little we can do but accept “what is.” We can’t change the new dynamics. All we can do is not make things worse. You deserve better…so do I…but that’s just not the way it turned out. Blessings, Luise