Question: Dear Luise: My daughter won’t let me see my grandchildren. Especially my eightyear-old grand son. She hates me and says I am unfit to see them; that she needs a psychiatric evaluation. Her mother in law is obsessed (and so is her husband) with my grandchildren and they have a right to see them and take them to their home all the time. The grandfather hits my grandson in the face and he is very hot tempered. I’m afraid that something can happen. What do I do to have my daughter understand? She threw me out of her house because of her mother in law. She is a horrible person with me and talks to my daughter against me. She puts her little gossips to my daughter and she gets horribly mad with insults and won’t let me see the kids. My son in law is in rehab for drugs. If he were here, he would put my daughter in her place. Her mother in law interferes with me and makes me ill. I get sick over this–please advise. S
Answer: Dear S.: It sounds to me like you need to protect yourself from this situation, if it is making you sick.
Once your daughter sets her mind to it, she can pretty much do what she pleases. She’s blocking you in every direction. It would seem to me that all of this conflict is taking its toll on everyone…and that probably includes your grandchildren. It also looks like your daughter and her mother in law deserve each other.
I would suggest you back out of the whole mess and focus your interests and energies where you are respected and appreciated. You are not in a position to act in your grand children’s best interests because of your daughter’s power, beliefs and attitudes…and, unfortunately, it’s her call. Blessings, Luise