Question: Dear Luise: I need your sage advise Luise! My son’s wife of now threeyears is very manipulative, although my son has yet to see it in her. Since their union, she has tried on most occasions to exclude myself and my husband. However. she has reached out to my son’s fatherand his wife and now they take vacations together and we are left out in the cold. I might add that both my son’s father decided to cheat on me and I raised my sons pretty much solo. I have been very close to my children and am very hurt about this. She seems to take great pleasure in hurting me. I have never done anything but be kind and considerate to her. I am not a bossy or pushy type. In fact I am probably a pushover when it comes to my sons. Anyway, as of late, my son no longer has friends of his own, just her friends. I suggested that this was odd but he blew it off so I kept quiet. Now, he asked me if i would babysit my 3 month old granddaughter and I replied yes. So I changed my parttime job schedule to help with the baby. After he, wife, stepmom and Dad returned from a beach trip. He calls and tells me that they would be having his Dad’s wife babysit, not me. I was and still am very upset. She starts texting me this morning and says that my son is so upset and that I should not be upset with him because she is the one who asked my ex husbands wife to keep their daughter. I did not respond back to her as I will not be manipulated by her anymore. I am well aware that she has been jealous of my close relationship with my son but what’s a Mother to do? It is so wrong on all levels and i know she would like nothing better than to upset me to the point that I don’t come around. My husband says take the high road babe but I am sick of taking the high road. Does my son really not see thru her yet? At my wits end! T.
Answer: Dear T.: Several years ago, I established a separate Website for questions involving adult children and extended families because I felt there was a need for a community for those facing such complex issues. If you are interested, please come over to: www.WiseWomenUnite.com
You will find, besides me, of course, a wide variety of women who will listen, understand and share with you. A great deal of healing has taken place there. Blessings, Luise