Cut Off By Adult Son

Question: Dear Luise: I have a very painful problem, my adult son has let his wife decide he doesn’t want me in his life. I divorced his father when he was 18 and I remarried after 8 years. My marriage was very unhappy and I waited until all my children were grown. My son was on my facebook as a friend and now he has unfriended me, he said I didn’t call him on his birthday, yes I did. His wife always had him ask for money from us, she made the statement to someone once “I know they have money and I am going to get my share”. Well I worked for years and my husband works, he is also retired from the Air force, I got very sick and almost died we found out later I had an autoimune disease and it was attacking my lungs so I no longer can work. They still want “their” money. I have given when they neede it. I have bought my grandson things he needed when he was in the hospital (new pj’s underwear and toys for a sick child) and yet I am accused of not careing for him! They never let him see me. I always call on special ocasions, they never call me. I have never gotten a call for Mothers day or a birthday, but I see phots of them celebrating with her family that lives 2 hours away and them showing off presents. I don’t ask for anything but a call. I get so upset with this it causes a Flare up of my disease and I wind up in bed. I can’t go on like this. I told they when they go to church, which is all the time, to listen to the sermon next time. Oh I even gave them a car! He said he is done with me. How do I handle this? Am I wrong to just walk away, I do have to think of myself, I have a stint in my heart and have had a heart attack. I can no longer take the pain they give me and rub in my face the things they do for her family. My step daughters and another step daughter tell me how wonderful I am and wish I were their real mother. Do you have any advice? Thank you. T.

Answer: Dear T. Please come over to the Web-forum I have those of us that have issues with adult children and extended families. I have found that more is needed than a question and answer venue. What works best is a community of supportive, understanding women who care and are willing to share. We are at: Blessings, Luise


One Response to Cut Off By Adult Son

  1. M June 20, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    I feel for this lady with her son and the daughter in law. I know of a situation very similar to what is described.

    It sounds like this lady is dealing – unfortunately -with a very “Greedy” person, who is trying to push all the buttons that upset the writer. The fact that the stepdaughters wish that the writer was their mother, shows that the writer does have good qualities.

    I have got to the point that I have given up trying to figure out some people. Some people are blind and don’t see what is done for them. The writer has tried to give gifts to the sick child etc and she doesn’t even receive a call. The family who is being so rude might only realize it – and will never admit their wrongs at that point – when it’s too late.

    Hopefully the writer can have a good quality of life and that this isn’t going to compromise her health. M.

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