Question: My son is 4 years old, I am no longer with his father, who was abusive & controlling. At the beginning of our breakup almost 3 years ago, I felt I was in no shape to take care of him considering I was homeless & jobless at the time. I gave my ex’s mom temporary custody of my son while I straightened my life out. However, when I had a roof over my head and a job, I went to bring him home with me, & she convinced me it was best to leave him with her a little longer. As time went, everytime I would go visit him, she would make excuses such as he is napping, or he was sick (although he usually looked healthy & happy to see me), or just not answer the door. When I would call she would claim she wasn’t home and had him with her. Eventually, I went to bring him home, in which case she started crying & saying that I was torturing him & her by taking him “this way”.. (note: I have always treated her politely). By this time he had been with her for almost 2 years. We, together, decided that we would have him stay with me for short amount of times & work up to having him full time. This didn’t work out because once again she resumed claiming that she had plans when I would call, not answer my calls, or “not be home”. About 3 months ago, I took her a notarized letter informing her that I revoked the temporary custody & brought him home. She then started calling me, crying and saying that I was doing the wrong thing. Which didn’t work this time, so she started having her other family members calling me. I let her take him twice right after I brought him home, & he would come back acting scared & not himself, eventually he told me that grandma told him we (my husband & I) are bad people & that my husband would do certain pedophilic things to him (my husband has no background pointing to this accusation, in fact my son’s “real” father is a known pedophile & a registered sex offender). So I told her that she was not to see him again without my supervision. It cannot be healthy to put false things into my son’s head about his mother. This increased the calls, begging to be able to take my son out, having her other family members calling (numerous time a day) and pounding on our door, even going to my husband’s place of work. I changed my number, & told them again, that I will call them for a supervised visit. They have stated to some of my relatives that they plan to either abduct my son, or find any way they can to get him back to her. Yesterday I got a hand written & delivered letter from one of her sons in my mailbox stating that they all are hurt & sad want to be able to take my son, that I am killing an old woman whose health is already failing. He went as far as saying that they think I have something to hide and would call child protective services on me if I don’t let them within the next few days. I have done nothing wrong, my children are well cared for and loved, so my question is have I done anything against the law in withholding them from taking him or seeing him alone? Could they take my children from me if they make false accusations? S.
Answer: Dear S.: Get to a good attorney as fast as you can and do whatever is necessary to protect your son. He is so lucky to have you. You need immediate, hands-on help, not online advice. Blessings, Luise