Question: Dear Luise: I am at my wits end and so upset I have nowhere to turn. My son and his wife have two beautiful children that attend day care due to their work schedule. My son has 3 days off and does keep the kids out of school for one sometimes two days so he can enjoy playing with them and being daddy. My daughter in law has two days off which one of them she sends the kids to school and the other day her mom watches them until 6pm so that she can go out to do errands. My daughter in law for the past four months has decided that she needs to go out at least once or twice a week with her so-called friends. She stays out until 3am and as a result my son has to get up in the morning so that the kids will be fed and dressed and gets them off to school. She also has started to lie to my son about money, places and people she is with and basically things in general. We all know she will never be a full time mom but she never wants to spend time with her family. They go to a counselor but my daughter in law is going only because as she says “In case this marriage doesn’t work out I can at least say I did what you asked of me” Do you think if there was to be a divorce my son could get custody of his kids? She is leaving the house the first of the year so she can think as she says and I will be at the house to help my son with the kids. Thank you so much, L.
Answer: Dear M.: I have no idea who would get the kids in the eventuality of a divorce. It looks like a no-brainer to me…but judges vary to an alarming degree.
You need a good divorce attorney to advise you regarding the best way through this minefield. It’s a serious and delicate situation.
I have yet to see the person who wants to “get away to think” that isn’t on her or his way out. There’s always an exception to the rule but that’s been my experience. I think your attorney will tell you that you need to document everything…date, time, situation and any possible witnesses. But this issue is for a professional, not me.
It’s a sad story and I feel sorry for all concerned…even your DIL. She may wake up one day and see what she has done to those who trusted and depended on her. Blessings, Luise