Am I Unlovable

Question: Dear Luise: I am writing because of my relationship with my daughter. She just turned twenty, and her contact with me since she turned eighteen and went away to college (her choice) has become progressively less. She has excluded me from social networking sites, doesn’t answer my calls or messages, and seldom comes to visit. She is moody and sullen when we do communicate, and we often end up arguing over her behavior. I do not understand why she cannot stand me. I have striven to give her a good life, and have led by example with respect to education. Her treatment cuts me to the bone, and I have spent a lot of time weeping. I think I am probably the problem. I have a so-so relationship with my mother and sister as well. My mom is a hard person who never apologizes, and my sister is of a similar temperament. I am at a loss as how to repair any of these relationships. Why am I so screwed up? R.

Answer: Dear R.: It may not be you. Please come over to my Web-forum with this issue. I think you will benefit from multiple responses, not just mine. You will find us at: . Blessings, Luise

One Response to Am I Unlovable

  1. D. August 15, 2013 at 6:46 am #

    Ms. LOVABLE!

    I’ve three daughters who had a splendid childhood who are always in a snit…don’t take it personally…wait till she hits a bump in her road of life, and dang you’ll not be able to get rid of her LOL. I too spent tearful times but for their spiked tongues, and, entered myself into counseling, and learned “this is about HER, not you”. We wish it was ourselves, because then we’d have power to do something about it…when it’s the other person you are powerless and thus fearful, angry, anxious etc. It’s more comfortable to take the blame….but, it isn’t accurate…so stop it and use the energy instead toward something you love doing…this is YOUR time to become self actualized. I know, it’s a new feeling for you, but not only will you get use to it, you’ll wonder why you ever spilled a tear when you realize the joy of your new found freedom and identity! D.

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