Question: My son and DIL have lived with my husband and me. She is upset with us because of an argument that we had. We asked her and my son to help with the housework and to take more responsibly in care for their child. That made her mad and she left our house several weeks later with my grandchild. Everyone is mad at us because we cut them off financially. I have been a part of that child’s life since the day she was born. I have been with her everyday since she was 6 months old before that every weekend. She says she will not come back to our house. It has only been a week. She finally let my son see his daughter 4 days later but will not tell him were she is staying. She is refusing to let my husband and I see my little angel. My husband just lost his job and we do not have the money to fight for grandparent’s rights. If they get back together she does not want us to see our grandchild. Is there anything I can do to see my grandchild? I cry every day and have not slept very well. None of her family will talk to us. I don’t now if my DIL is talking to my son about anything. My son looks at me says “Mom don’t worry about it.” He is so in love with this girl. He does not want to do anything to upset her. Any advice. S.
Answer: Dear S. Your granddaughter is their child not yours. You supported them financially, took care of the baby and did the housework. Your DIL took it easy and held everyone prisoner using her position as the child’s mother to blackmail all of you.
When you couldn’t take it any more after your husband lost his job…you asked them, especially your DIL, to grow up and act like adults. It doesn’t appear to me that she has it in her. And furthermore, she viewed it as treason.
She holds the winning hand in this game. Your son is besotted. You have put your foot down but so what? She runs the show. Now you are being punished and she may stick to her guns. I don’t know about your legal rights or what it would cost to enforce them, but as long as your son is behind her…she reigns supreme.
You are out in the cold and have lost the presence of a dear child that isn’t even yours, all for taking a stand regarding their lack of maturity and integrity.
And her family thinks you’re wrong. That tells you something more about her belief system and where she learned it. She had a baby. Apparently that’s all she has to do in this lifetime to be supported, obeyed and worshipped. She doesn’t have to lift a finger. And no one can question her behavior or ask anything of her, ever.
Having stepped on her highness’s toes, you may never be pardoned. Look back. You may see that you played a part in creating this monster. Now, you’re at her mercy and she apparently has none. I’m so very sorry but that’s the way I see it. For further support, please come over to my Web-forum: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com Blessings, Luise