Question: Dear Luise: My little brother is only 22 years old and is an alcoholic. He lives with roommates on his own in a different state. He has a good job but he spends his money on alcohol and is now behind on rent. Our mom paid his rent but asked his roommate not tell my brother. I am worried that she is enabling. What can we do to help him while we are in a different state? N.
Answer: Dear N.: Yes, that’s exactly what enabling looks like, as I understand it. Get your mom to an Al Anon meeting ASAP. You will both learn how to support your brother and each other. He’s really lucky to have you in his corner but/and he has to be the one ready to do the work. Plan on continuing to attend Al Anon indefinitely. Blessings, Luise