Abusive Engagement

Question: Dear Luise: I am a 23yr old girl.i love my cousin since 8yrs bt he never had time for me.nor he spoke nor made me feel anytime tht he is also in d relation wit me.2yrs back a guy proposed me for marriage bt before inviting him to my home i spoke to him.tried to knw bout him and felt he is nt d man i dreamt of.den after few months my cousin came back and sent d proposal for marriage at home and my family agreed.i too was happy.nw its 10months am engaged bt dont knw hw he came to knw bout d past man.he feels i cheated on him and doubts on my character.am confused shud i continue d relation and get married or quit it.cz i cant tolerate his abusive language.d way he doubts and taunts me always.will he change after marriage or not?will i get d place of wife in his life?wil i get d respect and support frm my husband ever in life frm him?plz help me. S.

Answer: Dear S.: I don’t have the answer, of course…just an opinion. My take is that you are lucky to have found out what you needed to know about him before he had a chance to trash your life. If course you weren’t unfaithful to him. That’s ridiculous! Usually, such jealous and abusive behavior only gets worse, not better. Let your family know that you have the self-respect required to call it off. And if he appears to change, I wouldn’t believe it. He’s shown you what he’s made of. He’s a narrow-minded bully to my way of thinking. You deserve so much better! Blessings, Luise


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