Question: Dear Lusie: I just started seeing this guy, we have known each other for 8 years, and dated for a very short period of time 6 years ago. We just decided to give it another shot. I really like him, and really he’s everything I look for in a guy, hes very caring, sweet, romantic, and wants everything out of life that I do. However there is one thing that bothers me and that I feel would become an argumental issue if we become exclusive. He plays video games a lot, like has scheduled days, 4 days a week that he plays online with friends. He has even said to me in the past he’s not sure if he could date a girl who doesn’t play because, it’s what he loves. I understand that, but I wish he didn’t play so much. How can we fix this problem, because I think that its something we both know is an issue. I just don’t think he’s willing to give them up, and I know he really likes me and wants this to work. Please help. R.
Answer: Dear R.: You are wishing he wasn’t the way he is…committed to video games… and he’d like you to be different, too, and more into them. The truth is he’s the way he is and you’re the way you are. You’re both fine, you’re just not aligned on this core issue. You can promise to change…one or both of you…but it wouldn’t last because that’s not who you are. Best to face it now, wish each other well and move on rather than have such a huge elephant in the middle of the living room. It would eventually trample you to death. Blessings, Luise