19 Year-old Son

Question: Dear Luise: My son of 19 was always a kind loving boy. cut a long story short he has met a girl and since doing he has started to smoke weed, is getting into trouble with the police, the police keep coming at all hours in the morning to search my house. he has moved into a flat with her, they have no washing machine, no cooker, infact no nothing, no carpets, NOTHING. the other day I went to his flat to confront him telling him that I wanted him to tell the police he was living at the flat and no longer our house. I told him I was discusted with him that he had stole a babies pushchair and car seat and sold it for drug money. i called him a druggy which I regret. I pulled his mate out of the car because hes the one who he gets into trouble with and he is living in my sons car that we bought him. I also told his girlfreind to stop sucking on his neck because he would never get a job looking like he does with love bites all over. he had a good start in life my husband and I bought him a car and learned him to drive. my husband gave him an apprentiship, but he kept failing to turn up for work. he eventually left and thought he could do better on his own. there is so much more to this story. after the incident where I confronted him, he was going to hit me, something I have never done to him, he called me a mad cow and told me he never ever wanted to see me again. he told me he was done with me. since then he has changed his phone number so I cant ring him to say how sorry i was. I really miss him and I am devastated that he wont have anything to do with me again. I love him so much and feel so lonely without him in my life. Please help. WHAT CAN I DO. A.

Answer: Dear A.: I feel that you would do better with multiple answers, not just mine. Please come over to my Web-forum at www.WiseWomenUnite.com. It is a very loving community of supportive women who will join me in sharing what they have been up against and how they are working though it. Blessings, Luise

One Response to 19 Year-old Son

  1. L. September 11, 2013 at 7:26 pm #

    That’s so sad, I saw the same thing with my brother, my mom did all she could do for him, she ran him off thinking that if she used tough love it would get better but it never ever did. One dreadful day, she got the call that ever mother fears, my brother died at his friends house from a drug overdose. He had just turned 30, never got to experience marriage or children. I know that’s not what you want to hear but My mother would never turn him in to the police for his drugs, now she knows that jail would have been better than a grave!! As hard is that would be for you, it would be better than the alternative. Which could you live with easier? If he doesn’t get some sort of help, either spirtual or medical,then expect the call or stand up and fight like a MOM, tell the police, find his drugs and flush them, call the parents of the friends he is hanging out with and tell them to keep there kids away… whatever you have to do to save his life do it!!! I wish we could have done more for my brother. Be in your son’s face 24-7 if you have to, give him hell every minute, follow him…. be a mother… let him know you love him most of all and how hurt you would be if he wasn’t there. Put him on every prayer chain you can find!!! Yes you will be worn out with it but you can do it. I will start the prayers myself for you myself, and I will tell my pastor/my husband to pray. L.

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