Will I Ever Learn?

Question: Dear Luise: Wow!  I just found your site while browsing for “depression remedies”, yet the women who have poured their hearts out to you are telling my story, too.  I have two adult daughters who are distant, aloof, are hateful and either blame me for every poor decision they’ve made in their lives (they’re both near 40) or expect me to constantly pay their way out of their financial troubles (I am retired).  My grandchildren have been used as pawns, which also hurts.  So many times I am just (literally) sick over the whole thing.  My husband (2nd marriage) tried to be a good father to them as they were growing up but they reject the both of us.  I thought I was the only one going through such a situation.  You’re absolutely right, they feel entitled to everything and only need us when it suits them.  I am trying to just enjoy my remaining years with my husband and be happy together.  Still…..  Will I ever learn?  I am considering cutting them (not the grandchildren) out of my Will because of their lifelong attitude toward me/us.  They have even gone so far as to say that we’re only good to them dead so they can inherit.  How do I get past this?  Any ideas? Thank you so much for your column.  V.

Answer: Dear V.: I think I would set up trust funds to be sure your money went where you wanted it to go and didn’t get “intercepted.” I would also suggest that you come over to my Web-forum: www.WiseWomenUnite.com to work on moving through the pain this situation is bringing you. Sharing and caring can be very useful in healing. And that is what we all have to do. Let go, move on and heal. Yup, me, too. Blessings, Luise

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