Question: Dear Luise: The past year has been so hard. My son is 18 years old and did not graduate. His whole senior year was a nightmare. He was skipping class and started hanging with the wrong crowd and started smoking. Once he did not graduate we were able to talk the school into accepting him in a program that will help him graduate by October 2010. Not even a week later he was caught on campus with marijuana. He wasn’t quite 18 so they said they will issue a warrant for his arrest and he would have to turn himself in. I immediately ran out got a lawyer, took out a loan so he wouldn’t have a record. The day we are to go to the lawyer, he says he has to work for someone and could I go and pay the lawyer and talk with him. I told him no it is his mess and he needed to take care of it. It turned into a major arguement that resulted him moving out and saying he will handle everything himself.He is tired of things being held over his head. For three weeks I did not know where he was. He moved in with one of his friends who mother is never there. He doesn’t call. He just texts when he wants something . He has no driver’s license, social security card (lost it when his wallet was stolen), no diploma and a warrant that he still has not turned himself in for. He acts like he hates me. What if he never comes back. He is not ready to be on his own. He has nothing and no way of getting it. When the fall starts I doubt he will go to school on his own. Have I lost my son and why does he hate me so much? J.
Answer: Dear J.: I have created a separate Web-forum for questions regarding adult children because it is such a big issue. Please go to www.WiseWomenUnite.com . Blessings, Luise