Question: Dear Luise :I don’t know what to do. I have a 17 year old son that acts very angry towards me. I do EVERYTHING for him. I was just cursed out because I asked him to write his graduation thank you notes with no scratch outs. I sent out all 75 announcements without asking for his help. I was going to print his thank you notes, but they were too thick to go into my printer. He says that he is only happy when he is with his friends and feels lonely a lot. I took him to the dr. today and she prescribed a mild antidepressant. He is VERy smart but VERY lazy. All through school, especially high school, I had to always stay on top of his school work and talk to teachers to make sure he was doing all assignments. Most of the time he wasn’t . Still, he managed 2 partial academic scholarships and a VERY high ACT score. I am so very sad all the time. Constantly worried about him and doing things for him. I can never relax. I do so much for him and he still continues to treat me worse than garbage. When we come down on him for something he starts saying he shouldn’t live. As long as we don’t correct him for anything, we don’t hear that. He only treats me decent when he wants something. What am I doing wrong? S.
Answer: Dear S.: I don’t know. I would try a good psychologist, if he will go. It sounds like he has a sense of entitlement and has found that he can manipulate and maneuver you to his advantage quite easily. He’s using his smarts to outsmart you and that’s so sad. Both of you lose. He’s not a happy camper…he’s dissatisfied and depressed with the game he is playing. His big gun, threatening to take his life, is a very dangerous one. Get professional help ASAP, even if you have to go alone. Blessings, Luise