Question: Dear Luise: I’m in love with my ex. I know he’s still in love with me. He tells me it all the time, promising me things he never does. He doesn’t know how to treat a woman. If a guy doesn’t take you out and if he doesn’t try to make you feel good by doing special things, is it true that he still loves you? Is he cheating? Is it real love? We’ve been together for 3 years. He cant trust me because of past events but I have been a great girlfriend and I try to show him I’ve changed but it seems like nothing’s changed with trust issues. S.
Answer: Dear S.: It doesn’t sound to me like you have much to work with. Many guys get tired of the social scene and the spoil-your-sweetheart scene but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re no longer in love. As you know, being in love and being able to live together can be two different things…if you’re not on the same page. You need compatibility and trust and if you don’t have either, love probably isn’t going to carry you through.
I think if I were you, I would start over with someone new and see if being older, wiser and more accountable doesn’t make a big difference. It’s not the guy’s job to entertain you and make you feel good. That’s your job. Look for a “partner” this time. A partnership is two adults working side-by-side as a team. Blessings, Luise