Question: Dear Luise: I don’t know what to do. Our son says they don’t want to change me and they want us in their lives. But if we stop by, we get the feeling we are not welcome, if we call, she won’t answer the phone or return calls. He says her mother calls 15 times a day and comes over everyday and that is what makes a good mother and grandmother. That is not who I am. I don’t talk on the phone or facebook constantly. Again, that is not who I am but obviously, they expect me to be someone different. Remember, even when we do call she won’t answer or return calls, so where does that leave us? J.
Answer: Dear J.: It doesn’t sound to me like your son is speaking for “them”, it sounds like he is speaking for himself and that they disagree on the subject. You are being ignored and pushed away and at the same time you are being criticized for not being around more. Where is the logic in that?
I think you might profit from joining the online community I have established for women experiencing issues with adult children and extended families. Many in similar circumstances have found it enlightening and comforting. Please come over to: www.WiseWomenUnite.com . You will get feedback there and suggestions from others, as well as support.
You are fine just the way you are…and you can’t change them. It’s a very tough situation. Blessings, Luise