Question: Dear Luise: Our son is 50, unmarried, and totally estranged from us. We have analyzed the situation over and over. We are not monsters, but perhaps we have been too generous over the years. I recently heard that spoiled children often turn against their parents and so maybe this is the case. Our daughter is loving and in our lives with our three grandchildren but we are all at a loss as to what happened to the only brother, uncle and son – he just left our lives and wants nothing to do with us. We have decided we need to let go, but now we are at the stage where we want to update our wills and don’t know what to do. Thanks. K.
Answer: Dear K.: Please come over to my Web-forum where this kind of issue is addressed. www.WiseWomenUnite.com You will find support there. My take is that I am not leaving anything to anyone who says I no longer exist. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Our adult children have many choices and one is to move on as though we never lived…much less are still around. Trying to figure what went wrong becomes a lost cause. You did a good job; ask your daughter and you deserve so much better. We have reasonable expectations that we sometimes have to let go of to be able to get on with our lives.
You still matter…a lot. Blessings, Luise