Question: Hi Miss Luise: I feel like a Starbuck’s Dropout! I go in there and can’t relate to anyone, even the clerks! I could use a little advice. It’s obvious to see that I am an ambitious person, but I find that I have no social life. I wonder how I might ever meet the right guy, if all I do is work? Financial freedom is important to me, and so is wealth building and planning for my future. I don’t want to marry someone just because they can provide things I can’t achieve myself. So my working two jobs is creating a problem and dating is just not fitting in. Help! What’s a girl to do? Thanks, Precious
Answer: Dear Precious: this is pretty much about priorities, isn’t it? You have decided what matters and you’ve gone after it with a clear plan. Such priorities don’t have to end, but you do need to recognize that they are showing up as what matters most. People meet people at work, you know. They meet people on the bus and in the park and at the Laundromat and at church. Yes, even at Starbucks!
Where is your focus when you are out and about? Do you see each new person who comes your way as interesting or is your mind focused on what’s next and getting there? Are you present? Only when you cut yourself some slack will you begin to start to cut some for others. Have you tried acupressure to relax? (I’m only half-kidding because you need to explore the side of yourself that’s been put on hold.) Do you know how to go into a mattress store and come out best friends with the saleslady? It’s an art called asking, listening and relating. Who will see you as something more than a moneymaking machine, if you don’t?
At this time, you certainly don’t need to worry about marrying the wrong guy just so he can give you what you want. People who start out as strangers with you stay that way…because you have assumed that posture. Marriage isn’t an option.
How well do you play with your female friends? How often do you go on a Mall Raid or a Food Junket? When did you take your last mini-vacation? Where did you go? Who with? What did you do? I’m suggesting that you may have gotten sucked up into your own master plan and forgotten how to goof of and mess around. That’s serious!
Look and see where you can bring balance back into your life. The Starbucks in your town can become a local chat room. The Internet isn’t the only place people hang out. Slow down. Look around. Open up. What are you missing and why? Blessings, Luise