Question: Dear Luise: I’m a 33 years old single mom with a 8 years old daughter. I’m dating a man for 3 months now. My question is that should I let my man stay in my apt and sleep in the same bed with me and my daughter? Since we have only one bed to share with my daughter. I wonder if I should not do this. We can arrange time to meet at his place in private. But sometimes on weekend when he stayed over, we slept in one bed together. We did not have sex though. My daughter really likes him and we like a family. Please help me out. J.
Answer: Dear J. No, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You are not a family. And even if you were, and the man in question was her dad, it wouldn’t be a good idea…ever. I think you already know that and just wrote to me for support, which I am happy to give you.
If you really become a family, you will move and your daughter will get her own room. You should do that as soon as you can, even if it doesn’t happen. She needs her privacy and so do you.
Don’t let your daughter become used to being in your bed. You need to plant the seeds of independence. It should have started years ago even if you had to sleep on a couch in the living room. Don’ t stop her healthy development because you want comfort and company. You are not sisters. Blessings, Luise