Question: Dear Luise: We have a 2 year old girl who is the love of my life I’m 43 my girlfriend 33, I excepted in my house when when I was well financially stable, she lived for free never worked even tho I asked her to get a job, things when bad I lost everything but she stay with me. I got back up and I’m doing better but not as before. She got a large amount of money has been on a spending spree buys and lends money to people that have never done anything for her or just met, gave me a pair of shoes and jeans. Im not making a lots of money yet I have to pay my half of the bills leaving me with zero in my bank. Sex stopped the minute she got the money, she said she fell out of love. I would move out but is a lousy mother does not cook for our baby baby is always constupated. I work come home cook do laundry, weekends I take her with me everywhere I go because she stays home with her mother all week. I need help what do I do ? Stay or go? R.
Answer: Dear R.: There is no easy solution. You know that. You are being used and abused. To stay means you are pretty much going to be living your life for your daughter. To do that you will need to make peace with what that course of action asks of you. Can you do that?
The only other option I am aware of is for you to seek full custody. If you succeed, and there is no guarantee that you will, you are going to have to pay for child care and often what is available is just about what you girlfriend offers. You will also be liable for 100% of your living expenses. There is the possibility that in the future you might find a woman who offers both of you what you deserve. However, it’s just a possibility.
You will need to advice of an attorney, of course, on how to proceed, should you choose to try to gain full custody of your daughter. There is always a chance that you will not win and will lose the opportunity to spend as much time as you do with her now
You deserve so much better and so does your daughter. I wish I could offer more encouragement. Blessings, Luise