Should I Try to Find Her

Question: Dear Luise: I am 36 and thinking of trying to find my daughter that I’ve never met. I was only 15 when she was born. Her adoptive mother tried on numerous occasions to get me to meet her but I was very young and just pretended she wasn’t mine. I am recently single and think now would be as good a time as any to contact her. She would be around 20 now. Do you think it’s a good idea to try to find her?  I know they moved to a different state a long time ago. C.

Answer: Dear C.: Is that something you really want? Once you go there, there’s no turning back.

She may not be what you expect and/or visa versa. Beyond that, some people who have been adopted are curious and others want to leave well enough alone. You might be turned away.

It’s a very complex situation. If you have any confusion about it you might want to see a counselor first to address and hopefully work through your feelings and expectations.

It’s generous of you to be taking another look at it twenty years later and to be giving it some serious thought. I wish you all he best. Blessings, Luise

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