Question: Dear Luise: My adult son of 27 who was always loving turned on me. I have given him plenty of money, he expects more. I have money to give, but I have given enough. Now he said I am a shitty Mother and my birthday gift to him (not Money) was a horrible gift (it was a nice shirt and a beautiful care). He said (son) that the gift was cheap and I cut the card out of a magazine to save money!!! The card had scalloped edges and he said they were “torn”. Of course I was in shock… he now says I am no good and the several times I tried to call him he hangs up on me and said do not ever contact him again! His girlfriend will not speak to me either (she is 24 and up to now we were good friends). Let me add that his younger brother, 24, after living with me 2 years without paying rent, stole things from my house, lied about me to his older brother and girlfriend who believes him. The youngest son said I called his job 11 times and got him fired. I only called once to leave a message after he hung up on me when I tried to find out why he no longer wanted anything to do with me, as his older brother and girlfriend (who used to be my friend). I called his place of employment again and they said I only called once; that this son was NOT fired but quit because he was moving to his brother out of state. However, the older son and girlfriend do not believe me. They believe him. I am the bad Mother who has been milked for over 12 thousand dollars by these sons. When I decided not to give more, they made these little fights to get me out of their lives. Should I continue to try to call them (they hang up on me), it has been 4 months, or do what they want…for me to stay away? Should I leave them alone? I.
Answer: Dear I.: I would leave them alone and take the issue over to my Web-forum: www.WiseWomenUnite.com . Many of the women there have faced estrangement from adult children. I think you would find support there. Blessings, Luise