Question: Dear Luise: My 23 year-old son lives with his girlfriend and I live with my boyfriend. The other day my son told me he was in love with me and has been having thoughts of having sex with me since he was 13 years old and pretty much said he would like to do that. I just couldn’t believe it. I was in shock! He broke my heart. I cant bare to speak to him or ever see him again, because he may always have these thoughts. I plan on telling him that we can no longer have a mother and son relationship with him. It breaks my heart to do this, but it’s killing me the way he is thinking. I know that he is sick and needs help. I just need to understand why. This is hurting me so. I just can’t stop crying. Please help. Am I doing right by cutting him out of my life? A.
Answer: Dear A,: Please see a one-on-one counselor about this. I think there must be a way to say no to your son’s proposition without disowning him. I have read that most teenage boys have similar fantasies about their mothers. Whatever pushed your son over the edge and into acting out in the present…needs to be addressed by him. Whether or not he will do anything about it is his choice. At 23, he’s making his own decisions. However, there must be a way to close the subject with him without closing the door. Blessings, Luise