She Can’t Make Up her Mind

Question: Dear Luise: I had fallen out with my gf. She want to break off with me. Think not so simple. She told she have a one night affair with a guy. She still contact. She feel guilty about. I told her I can forgive her and start all over again but she confuse and don’t know what to do. What should I do? J.

Answer: Dear J.: Your girlfriend’s confusion is in the way at this time. If she doesn’t know what she wants, there isn’t much chance of moving forward.

You have been very understanding and kind but the fact that she is still in contact with the guy is a red flag. On the other side of the coin, there has been a lot of honesty between the two of you and that is a good sign.

I suggest you back off and see how this all shakes out. There’s nothing you can do, really, when she doesn’t know what she wants. It sounds to me like she may not be ready for a serious relationship. Time will tell. Blessings, Luise

2 Responses to She Can’t Make Up her Mind

  1. F. July 31, 2008 at 9:38 am #

    But can’t her honesty towards him be an actual hint that she wants nothing to do with him, besides string him along for fun? Excellent advice, but I would cut my losses and find someone who would respect me enough to not put me through this.

  2. Luise July 31, 2008 at 9:50 am #

    Dear F.: Good point. And it’s always hard to “read” others. They may not know, themselves, what motivates them. He may find that he wants what you have described when he takes a breather. It happens. Blessings, Luise

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