Question: Dear Luise: My Daughter in Law is pregnant. She smokes pot. It’s driving me nuts! Does anyone know about the side effects of smoking pot during pregnancy? I don’t do it, but I know people who do. Personally, I HATE the stuff. Evidently she has done some kind of study about pot and babies and has found nothing to be concerned about. She also makes up stories and lies constantly, to make excuses to not spend time with me. I’m a good person, I don’t judge. I’m not pushy. I just think she is jealous of my relationship with my son. M.
Answer: Dear M.: If your DIL’s pot smoking while pregnant is driving you nuts, you are judgmental, aren’t you? (I know I would be!)
I’m not sure what good it is going to do to research the issue. Is she going to pay any attention to the information you find that takes exception to what she’s doing? We both know the answer to that…just like both of us know that *any* smoking at this time can damage her baby.
You’re stuck with someone who doesn’t want to be friends. It’s a “no-go”, whether you are related or not. And your being a nice person doesn’t factor into the issue. She’s not interested. On top of that, her jealousy isn’t anything you can confront. It’s all about her, not you.
My take on this is that your DIL is who she is and that’s how it is. I would back way off and quit trying to make any sense of it. Your son has made his choice and it’s a done-deal.
I suggest that you come over to my web-Forum; http://www.motherinlawsunite.com to discuss your issues further. Their support can be very comforting.