Question: Dear Luise: For the last eleven years I spent with my husband, he’s been calling me names and making me feel like nobody. Now that we have one daughter together and he’s getting worse. I can never scold my daughter or try to discipline her because he’ll get mad at me and start calling me names. As of now, I really want out of my relationship. His attitude is making me resent my daughter. O.
Answer: Dear O.: Other people can’t “make” you feel like a “nobody” or resentful. They act the way they do and you react the way you do. Each of you is totally responsible.
It looks like you definitely have a relationship that is not supportive and is not working. Do you know of a counselor that you can talk with to get some information on how to move forward? If at all possible, it would be wise to find an advocate to help you with what lies ahead. Perhaps a family member could help you.
If not, you will just need to take it one step at a time. Women have been doing it alone for centuries and right now it’s your turn. Abuse of any kind is unacceptable and dangerous. Blessings, Luise