I thought My Son’s Hatred Was My Fault

Question: Luise: So glad I found this website.  I thought there was truly something wrong with me to make my DIL hate me so. After reading all the posts and comments on here, I guess I am not the only one who must deal with the grief and heartache of losing my son.  He was calling me, but now the phone calls are fewer. I cannot call him as DIL makes a big deal out of it. I try to do whatever she dictates to make it easier for my son.  My DIL’s life revolves around her and her perfect friends and family.  Everyone else in the world is flawed. I feel I cannot live if I am unable to see my son once in a while or at least talk to him. I have a grandson also that I miss terribly.  The article on 12/27/08 (STEPS THE DAUGHTER IN LAW PUTS IN PLACE FOR THE SEPARATION OF MOTHER AND SON) sounds exactly like what my family and I have been dealing with over the past 5 years.  We haven’t got to step five yet, but I am sure it won’t be long. Also the articles about the man’s family being shut out of everything for the wedding could have been written by me. We were the people with the checkbook. My son has slowly turned into a male version of her and I am to the point that I cannot overlook his rude, disrespectful behavior anymore, although I love him with all my heart. I am hoping to find some insight and help to get through this situation from your website. I feel isolated and alone with no one to talk to about this. Thanks for being here. S.

Answer: Dear S.: Thank you so much for sharing what has been going on with you. It is so overwhelming to have to deal with something of this magnitude…that just goes on and on.

There has been such a heartfelt reaction to this subject on my website that my son and webmaster has created a web-Forum for us. Please come over to: http://www.motherinlawsunite.com

There is wisdom there and love and a very deep, mutual understanding. Blessings, Luise

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