Question: Dear Luise: i was with my sons father for he abusive years.. when we broke up i became a tay at home mom, i agreed to all his terms thinking he and his family would leave me alone or at least we could have a truce..they are constantly accusing me (wrongly) of being an alcoholic my ex has remarried and now his mother is constantly interfering pretending she is only trying to help then making it out that i cannot do anything on my own. she is always going to my sons school e.t.c. behind my back. and i’m going on my first holiday in 5 years on my own this year she has returned of acussing me of being a alcoholic?? and has all of a sudden started to spen extra time with my son but taking his phone when he is with them? i’m so puzzled by all the fakeness that i feel like i’m constantly wrong. N.
Answer: Dear N.: We can’t make sense of the senseless. I once read, “What you think of me is none of my business.” Others make up whatever they want to and we can’t change that. We can’t crawl into their heads and straighten out their thinking…or lack thereof.
You know who and what you are. That’s why you wrote to me. Enjoy your vacation and know that whatever influence she has on those around you, there is very little you can do about that. Your sons have no way to deal with it except to see who you are by your example. You deserve so much better. Every chance you get, give it to yourself. Blessings, Luise