Why Is My Son Deliberately Breaking My Heart?

Question: Dear Luise:  I filed for divorce in 2001, I have two sons, one was entering his 2nd yr. of college in Maryland.  His Dad said come home I said we will find a way for you to stay in college and get your degree and I did. My son graduated in 2005, met a wonderful girl at colelge, asked her to marry him, she accepted, their was a bridal shower that my husband (since 2006) and I hosted for the bride and groom and we helped pay for a portion of the expenses of their wedding. At the wedding my heart was broken by the fact my son and daughter in law never came over to our table to sit down and talk to any of us.  When we danced the mother and son dance, he asked if we could stop dancing?  My heart was broken in two. I lost my Mom when I was only 20, here is my son and me dancing together, I never had my Mom at my wedding and he is telling me he doesn’t want to dance with me. I thought long and hard over the weekend, my feelings were so hurt, I picked the phone up, but couldn’t call him because I would cry, so I sent him an email and he responded by saying No Mother should ever talk to her son like that and he will see me when he decides to. Many months have passed, we have spoken but it is not good.  He tells me he is going for counseling because of how I treated him throughout his childhood.  He said, Mom, you have never admitted that you are wrong, which I have.  During our last talk it appears I have done nothing right during his entire life time. He added don’t expect to see him until I change. I am stunned I have always bragged about my son and held him in such a high regard.  My heart is broken by the fact that he never remembers the good times and what I did without. I am still paying off loans that I took out for him to finish college. B.

Answer: Dear B.: As I just told A., please come over to my Web-forum that was set up for exactly what you are experiencing. It is at: www.wisewomenunite.com Blessings, Luise

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